


how wonderful life is now you're in the world

by MaddieandChimney



Series: Madney: Hello, Global Pandemic [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M, I suppose?, Potential Spoilers, based in season four, mentions of the pandemic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28906188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney
Summary: Standing outside his apartment door for the first time in months has to be the most terrified Chimney has ever felt before Maddie reminds him that he's home.
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Series: Madney: Hello, Global Pandemic [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2120586
Comments: 12
Kudos: 26





	how wonderful life is now you're in the world

The nerves grow inside of him more and more by the second, the closer he gets to his apartment… to  _ their _ apartment. Chimney gulps down the lump in his throat, stopping at the door as he takes a deep, trembling breath. It had been three months (one week and five days, to be exact) since the moment he had packed a bag and left, not knowing how long he would be gone for but knowing he had to do everything he possibly could to keep his family safe. Maddie had lived with him for barely a week at that point, the two of them knowing that the fear they had before of rushing things had so quickly dissipated the moment they realised how fleeting and terrifying life could be. 

And then the pandemic hit and every plan and slice of joy in their lives had just…  _ gone.  _ And the next thing he knew, he was packing a bag and kissing Maddie goodbye, promising her that he would come home as soon as he could. It feels awful to know it was a lie, because Hen and Eddie had gone home nearly two months ago but the fear growing inside of him every single day was crushing. The best things that surrounded him had a tendency of breaking and he’d already lost too much with his mom and with Kevin, the thought of losing the family he had never thought he would have, too… the thought of being responsible for it. No amount of showering, or disinfectant or any precaution that everyone tried to drill into him to get him to walk back through the door of the home he was meant to be sharing with his pregnant girlfriend, was enough to quell how terrified he was. 

This wasn’t how the pregnancy was meant to go and it was not the life he had imagined for them when they had been standing in the middle of his apartment, a pregnancy test in each of her hands, with their arms wrapped around each other, so full of joy and love for each other. Clueless as to what was about to hit them as they had laid in bed that night, his hand on her flat stomach, the two of them making plans. It fills him with sadness to think about every moment they lost - telling Buck in person and not over zoom, whilst he stood in the same room as her brother, knowing she couldn’t have the same luxury. Maddie having to tell Sue and Josh before she was ready because they were so worried about her having to go into work every single day, not understanding what the virus meant for pregnant women and their children, at that time. There was no baby shower, no hugs and Bobby cooking and everyone congratulating them. It was just… zoom calls and whispered phone calls in the middle of the night when she was struggling with morning sickness and he wanted to be there for her without actually being  _ there _ for her. 

It wasn’t what they had planned and he could tell as every single day passed and he still wasn’t home, Maddie was growing impatient. They had already lost so much of the joys pregnancy was meant to bring them - the celebration, the trying to avoid people touching her bump when she didn’t want them to, the holding her hand during a scan, the… just being there. He could see it in her eyes, less so at the beginning when neither of them really understood what was happening, just knowing they had to protect the little life growing inside of her, especially whilst she was in the first trimester. But more so these days, at twenty-two weeks pregnant, she was growing more and more every single day and he was missing it. He can still remember the pain in his chest each and every time Albert mentions something about the baby or about Maddie that he didn’t know. Like… the baby is more active in the morning or that Maddie suddenly really likes peanut butter when she had hated it before. Casual little comments here and there that remind him that he’s missing it all because watching from afar and seeing it in text just wasn’t actually experiencing any of it. Not really. 

Chimney looks down at his shaking hand, wondering if he’s making the right decision or if walking through that door will be so entirely selfish. He’d showered three times, taken a COVID test, practically doused himself in antibacterial gel and prayed to an entity he wasn’t entirely sure he believed in, but he had prayed the entire drive there that him being home would help, not hinder Maddie or their baby. He can’t lose her but each call is getting shorter, the disappointment in her eyes is lingering more and more and the hints are less hints and more obvious statements that she wants him home. Not to mention Buck was practically pushing him from his apartment, probably because he had been getting it in the ear from Maddie, too. 

The decision to come home hadn’t been easy, he’d tortured himself with it for days, but mentally, he wasn’t sure how much of this pregnancy he could withstand missing. He couldn’t be there for Maddie at the hospital, he might not even be allowed to be there for the birth, so he knows he should grasp each moment as they come, even if it’s terrifying. Maddie was right… they could be safe together, take precautions, find some sort of new normal at the end of the day because her going back to Albert and him going back to Buck when they finished their respective jobs at the end of the shift… it just wasn’t the same. He was miserable, everyone had noticed and pointed it out to him on more than one occasion. 

A global pandemic was hard enough to come to terms with, even harder when he was trying to do it alone, knowing that Eddie and Hen were going home to their families at the end of every shift. Chimney tries to shake it off, pulling his keys from his pocket for the first time in months, gulping down the lump in his throat as he just stares at the door, as though willing for it to open and somehow yank him inside so he can’t run. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be there, it’s not that he doesn’t want to watch this pregnancy happen in person but… the thought of it breaking was almost too much. 

But Hen’s words sound through his head over and over again… that he’s going to end up breaking it if he doesn’t go home soon, Madide loves him but there’s only so many times she can tell him she wants him to come home before he might not be quite so welcomed back into the fold. The thought is enough, at least, to force him to turn the key in the lock, pushing the door open and quietly stepping inside, just in case she’s already asleep. The smell of freshly baked cookies tells him otherwise, slowly placing his bag down on the floor when he steps a little further in and the sound of her voice rings through the apartment, causing his heart to clench as he smiles. 

“And you can tell everybody this is your song, it may be quite simple, but now that it’s done, I hope you don’t mind… I hope you don’t mind, that I put down in words....” He’d missed hearing her sing, it had been their morning routine, listening to hear singing at the top of her lungs in the shower, every morning a different song, every day a new sound to fall in love with. He almost doesn’t want to step further into the apartment and disturb her, knowing he could listen to her sing forever, “how wonderful life is now you’re in the world.” Her voice continues, as he slowly walks towards the bedroom, the tears falling down his face before he even gets there, pausing to watch her from the doorway, standing there in nothing but a pair of his old pyjama bottoms that rest beneath the beautiful bump he had never seen in person. Both of her hands rest on either side of her stomach, her head tilted down as she sings to their child… their little mango. She’s so lost in it all, singing along so perfectly to the quiet music in the background as she rubs gentle circles against where he imagines their daughter or their son to be kicking, a tearful smile on his face before he finally clears his throat, stepping over the threshold of the bedroom he had missed sharing with her. Besides, a few months on an airbed, with a few nights between on the beds in the station? Yeah, he couldn’t wait to rest on his comfortable mattress, next to her. 

Maddie jumps and he’s almost terrified for a second that he’s ruined the moment already and it’s barely been a few seconds since he’d made his presence known to her, watching as her hands drop from her stomach and she stares at him. It’s confusion first, her eyes looking into his before her face crumples, and she tilts her head to the side, doing her best to hold back the tears, “You’re home?” 

There is no word he can think of that describes the pain he feels at the sight of Maddie crying, stepping forward as he nods his head, “I’m home.” It’s disbelief on her face, at first, watching as she chews down on her trembling lip before she exhales a shaky, deep breath, smiling at him, despite the tears that pour down her face at the same time. 

“You promise?” 

Chimney takes another step forward, reaching out a hand for her, “I promise. I’m scared but… maybe we can be scared together?” She doesn’t take his hand, and a part of him feels rejected, until a second later she’s throwing her arms around his shoulders and pressing her lips to his neck as her body presses against his as much as she possibly can with the bump that looks so much bigger in person than it ever did on camera. Their little mango, growing more and more every single day and now he doesn’t have to miss it or wonder, or hear little things from Albert about it. He can be there, even if it’s the most terrifying thing in the world, he’d rather be scared  _ with _ Maddie and their baby than away from them, feeling alone and giving himself far too much time to lose himself within his own head. 

His arms wrap tightly around her waist, not sure how much time has passed before she finally pulls back, just enough so his hands can move to her bare stomach, feeling more awe than fear for the first time in a long time as he lets out a half sob, half laugh, thumbs brushing against the tight skin, knowing they get to meet their little human in a few months time. And the world is scary, unpredictable at the moment, as though new parenthood wasn’t enough of either of those feelings, but he knows there’s nowhere else he would rather be. Not now that he’s feeling it with his own two hands for the first time in so long and not just having it all be a figment of his imagination or a picture on a screen, or words in a text message. It’s real. So beautifully real. 

A gentle hand presses against his cheek, her thumb brushing the wetness beneath his eyes before he looks at her, smiling, “Welcome home.”  _ Home.  _


End file.
